If you’re a church member and thinking of questioning church teachings or challenging its doctrines, one can understand how hard it can be just from the perspective of the many things you’ve likely said in church or in front of groups.
As a participating church member, you often find yourself in the setting and situation that causes you to role play, to even invent stories or inspirational thoughts (…to make shit up) in order to inspire the youth or the people in the room. And whether or not you’re making it up as a believer or not, the ideas conveyed are a kind of subjective wisdom as opposed to hard truth.
The point is, given all of those things you’ve said to other people in church, and to the youth, you’re on the record. In their memories, and in yours, you are committed to what you have said. How many things have you told your kids about God? A lot, i imagine.
So it’s conceivable that you’ll resist considering alternate views without also at least some recognition of what you’ve already said and what you’ve felt as you said it to these people and how it will appear if you change your mind, not to mention the thought of whether you have a responsibility to these to go back and set it straight and say “hey i really didn’t believe all that shit that i said i ‘knew’.”
It might be hard to admit that the feeling you had of inspiration and emotion all came from you! It’s a foreign concept to many church members, to take credit for things that they think of. It’s so convenient to attribute your great ideas to the spirit of God. And why not? It gives you the added feeling of humility, which is a virtue in the church. When in fact, you are the source of all of your thoughts.
So — these are some of the challenges of coming out from under the shelter of church thinking and experience. It may be too much. It’s understandable if it is too much for some. It takes courage and a good amount of hard thinking about things. And it’s part of the reason many people wont change their mind or can’t change — it’s just too big a chasm to climb out of.
See also: First Things First, if you’re a church member (a believer).